


Broken

by Nadreida



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angry Kylo Ren, Betrayal, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Dead Snoke (Star Wars), Death, Drama, Drama & Romance, Evil Snoke, F/M, Falling In Love, Force Bond (Star Wars), Happy, Jedi, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Love, Love Confessions, Love/Hate, Major Original Character(s), Minor Character Death, Minor Original Character(s), Original Character Death(s), POV Original Female Character, Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Protective Kylo Ren, Sad, Sad Ending, Snoke Being a Dick, Star Wars: The Force Awakens Spoilers, Star Wars: The Last Jedi Spoilers, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Spoilers, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-12
Updated: 2020-02-12
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:48:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22678975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nadreida/pseuds/Nadreida
Summary: After living a life of secrecy and being trained by Tahl Varos, an upcoming Jedi named Zara joins the First Order as a spy for the Resistance in hopes of getting valuable information that will be detrimental to the outcome of the war.When the First Order discovers someone close to Zara has previously worked with the Sith, she gains more respect, allowing her to slowly climb up the chain of command. Eventually, Zara begins to work under Kylo Ren, her mission even more difficult than before.In order to survive within the First Order, Zara must overcome a multitude of obstacles thrown her way, which includes betrayal, death, and the worst of all... Love.
Relationships: Kylo Ren & Original Female Character(s), Kylo Ren/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 4





	1. Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who is Zara, and why is she so important?

In the desolate land of Tatooine was a small town, known for its slave trade and illegal gambling. Besides the small town, there's not much left except for an empty desert occupied by sand people, which are avoided due to the bad reputation they've given themselves. Turn your back for a second to them and you'll be shot, and they'll steal whatever you have. Maybe even a couple of organs if you have any left to spare. Some beings were unfortunate enough to encounter them, but not many. 

As dangerous as they seem, sand people aren't the only creatures residing within Tatooine that pose some sort of threat. Mess with the wrong people, and you'll be eating lead, and it won't be from the sand people. On the other hand, there were the slaves. They would work under the burning rays of the sun every day, hoping that eventually, they will gain their freedom, but the truth is, they would forever be slaves. What the people of Tatooine didn't know was that Myria and Caine Clamont, a couple of slaves, had a child who went by the name Zara Valerius Clamont.

It was known that after Zara reached a certain age she would begin work as a slave, and end up the same as her parents. Trapped in a neverending cycle of work resulting in blood, sweat, and tears. Fortunately, Myria and Caine kept Zara a secret, telling the people of Tatooine that their child died during birth. Tahl Varos, a close friend of Caine, took Zara under his wing and watched over her day and night as her parents worked. Ensuring that she was safe from the dangers lurking outside. 

After the passing of Zaras' second birthday, Tahl began to feel the force shift around her drastically, thus beginning her training as a young Jedi. A few years pass by, and her training is put on pause after the town in which her family resided in was attacked by the Tusken Tribe, resulting in the death of Myria and Caine. In hopes of continuing Zaras training, Tahl fled with the young girl to D'Qar, a verdant world located within the Outer Rim Territories. It's only inhabitants being birds and insects. 

Zaras training continued once again, and slowly she became one with the force, but she knew there was much more to learn. Eager to learn, she would work day and night with Tahl, trying her best to become stronger. Eventually, Tahl allowed Zara to venture D'Qar all by herself, and during her journey she stumbled upon the Resistance Base. She hid within the trees to ensure no one saw her, and she fled back to her home, telling Tahl all about what she saw. 

What she didn't know was that one day she would become a member of the resistance, and the 'unsolvable' puzzle she called life would be put together, piece by piece, until every thing fit perfectly together. 

In actuality, that's far from the truth. Zara did join the resistance, but the puzzle was never put together, none of the pieces fit, and throughout her journey she would constantly try new pieces over and over. Hoping that one day progress would be made, but she was left with an empty feeling. One that she was never able to get rid of. Until she met him... The man who she saw as an adversary. 

No matter how hard Zara tried to run away from him, it was as if an unseen force pulled them together like a magnet. The resistance saw this as a key to their plan of overthrowing the First Order, and both the 'enemy' and the 'hero' were reunited once again. It was unclear which side would win, but no matter what the resistance continued to work hard. Hoping that one day, the constant battle between light and dark would end. 

Eventually, the daughter of Myria and Caine would be known for conquering both the galaxy, and the heart of the infamous Kylo Ren.


	2. The Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> General Leia Organa has something to discuss with Zara, and it's a bit unexpected.

Cloaked in the shade of the trees, it was Tahl and I training once again. Away from the Resistance base where there would be a multitude of distractions. Even though I already learned the basics during Jedi training, Tahl had me practice Telekinesis for the day. It was one of the things I quickly mastered, but I never used it against anyone since D'Qar turned out to be a peaceful world. 

"Focus!" Tahl said absently. Using the hilt of his saber to hit the middle of my back, causing my posture to straighten up. When practicing Telekenisis, Tahl would make me hold myself up with one hand while using the other to stop inanimate objects from hitting me. I thought it was useless, but to Tahl, even the smallest thing is required for one's abilities and connection with the force to grow.

Slowly, my arm grew weak and fell from under me. The ground was getting closer and closer, and before I knew it my head collided with the soil beneath me. A few rocks scratching up my face in the process. It hadn't even been a day since I last injured myself, and the collection of bruises and cuts on my body began to grow. "Your mind has been wandering lately," Tahl turned to look me in the eyes before he continued.

"Is something wrong?" He questioned. It was obvious what my answer would be, but I didn't want to worry him any further. The stress that had been building up over the years finally began to take its toll on him, and I was dreading the day he'd finally let go and leave me here to take care of myself. "Nothing to worry about," I reassured him. Wiping the dirt off my clothes before finishing up my training for the day. 

Tahl had me run through the same thing as before a few more times until he let me rest, but I had other matters to attend to. He could clearly see I was in a hurry. "You're free to go, but don't be late for training later." Quickly, I grabbed my bag and threw it over my shoulders. Starting down the path towards the Resistance base. "Don't worry, I'll be back!" 

The trip there didn't take long, but the scenery always had me wandering around, hoping to find something new on D'Qar. Though there wasn't much for me to find, it was always refreshing knowing that this was my home and not some rancid planet with plenty of threats. According to Tahl, the head of a Jedi had become extremely valuable after everyone learned they were on the brink of extinction, and someone the people referred to as the 'Jedi Killer' was looking for whoever was left. 

Shaking my head in an attempt to regain my focus, I continued towards the base and found Poe walking back and forth in front of his ship. Conflict evident in his expression. "Did this pile of junk take some damage again?" I asked jokingly, but he didn't look amused. "You're so funny, you know that Zara?" He muttered before turning on his heel to look at me. Glancing at the X-wing in front of us. 

"The motors aren't working again." It was a constant problem that occurred, and occasionally it was for the same reason, but I had a feeling it was something different. "You checked the electrical connectors this time, right?" Poe's brow furrowed at the thought of my question. His expression fell. "Totally. Definitely checked that." 

I crossed my arms and looked him in the eyes. Annoyed that he forgot something so simple. "Seriously? That's the one thing you didn't check? We've been over this before!" Without realizing it I had raised my voice, causing wandering eyes to look my way. "There's never been a problem with the electrical connectors, so I don't see a reason why you're mad at me over something that's never happened!" Poe got closer to me, our noses only inches apart, but instead of fighting more, he pulled me into an embrace. The argument quickly coming to an end as I returned the hug. 

"Feels like you're never here to keep me in check anymore," He said before pulling away. Averting his gaze towards the ground. "You know how important my training is. Tahl would kill me if I took a break," I muttered. Nowadays all I would do is constantly train, and no matter how many times I asked, Tahl would never tell me why I began training more than usual the past couple of years. "Technically you're taking a break right now." He wasn't wrong, but working for the Resistance was a priority that gave me little time to relax. "I'd hardly call this a break, because as soon as I get this thing fixed," I said glancing at the X-wing beside us, "I have to speak with the General." 

Poe tapped his fingers against his leg nervously at the thought of me speaking privately with Leia. It was rare for her to request a private meeting with me, so anything could happen. "Don't worry, it's probably nothing important." It was obvious he was unsure of my statement by the disbelief shown in his expression. Out of everyone I grew to be friends with over the years, Poe was the one person who cared the most, and anything made him worry. "Let's get this thing fixed up. Don't wanna keep the General waiting," he said before walking away to grab some tools. 

While Poe grabbed everything we would need to fix the aircraft, I walked over to one of the wings and saw little to no damage. It's possible some debris had been knocked into it by the wind during the night, but the wind hardly blew strong enough to do damage. "That's odd..." I whispered to myself before Poe joined me. Putting the box of tools on the ground before tearing the underside of the wing apart. 

It didn't take long to fix the problem, and the X-wing was fully operational. Poe lightly messed up my hair before cleaning up everything and putting the tools back where he originally got them. "Alright old man, I've spent long enough solving your problems. Can't keep General Leia waiting any longer." Poe shook his head in agreement before pulling me in for one last hug. Which ended up lasting longer than usual. When it came to Poe, I felt extremely comfortable being myself, and he's always been there for me since the beginning. 

"Promise you'll tell me what happens?" He was soft-spoken. Letting go of me once more and giving me a concerned look. "Promise," I said before walking away. Looking back at Poe as I entered the resistance base. Leia was talking to a few of the higher-ups, so I patiently waited until she was finished to speak with her. A smile plastered across her face as soon as she saw me, but there was a hint of unease in her expression. 

Of course, I was curious about what she wanted to discuss, and sitting here worrying had me on edge. "Zara, it's nice to see you! How is Tahl doing?" She asked. Taking a seat beside a hologram showing a map of D'Qar. No threat present on the display. "His demeanor is starting to become slightly somber." Leia put a hand on my shoulder trying her best to reassure me. "The least you can do is be there for him, but he's strong, so whatever it is he'll pull through." Nodding my head in agreement, I sat down beside her. My gut told me she had more to say, so I patiently sat there, waiting for her to continue. 

"I've taken the time to think of a plan to gather information from the First Order, and it all starts with you," She said. Highly confident in her own plan. I couldn't help but sit there in awe thinking of how I could be of any significance. "Outside of the Resistance, you don't exist. That's why I want you to join the First Order as a spy. As of right now, they're looking for engineers, and that's your area of expertise." She wasn't wrong. 

My whole life has been a secret, and ever since the Resistance was built here I've learned how to fix nearly everything. Excluding Poe and his personal problems. "A-And you're positive this will work? I'll be dead within mere seconds if they find out who I truly am." The possibilities and outcomes were endless, and all of them looked bad. Either the plan would turn out to be a complete failure or a success. 

"There's nothing to worry about. If at some point they have their suspicions, leave whenever you get the chance." Leia knew exactly what she was talking about. It was definitely going to be a dangerous mission, and I ended up convincing myself that all of the training I've been put through will finally come in handy. Including the things Tahl taught me that I saw as a waste of time. 

Giving her a nod of approval, she gathered everyone for a meeting to discuss future plans, and what to expect. There were plenty of familiar faces within the crowd, but Poe stood out the most. The meeting was a bit abrupt since there was nothing scheduled, so everyone was confused. Slowly, the mood began to shift as Leia spoke. "I've called upon a meeting to discuss important matters. Pertaining to the First Order," She spoke in a dignified manner. Catching the attention of anyone who wasn't already listening.

"Our lack of knowledge about the First Order has turned out to be our downfall, but there is a way to build ourselves back up, and though it may upset some of you it's what has to be done." The crowd began to whisper in a panicked manner. If they only knew what she was about to say. "Zara Varos will be joining the First Order as an engineer, but she will continue to be a valuable member of the Resistance," Her words seemed to have caused disruption as everyone began to express their disbelief.

Compared to everyone else Poe was in complete and utter shock. His hands balling up into fists. All I wanted to do was walk over and calm him down, but I stood by Leia in the middle of a riled-up crowd that was ready to rip the place to shreds. "You can't actually believe that'll work. They'll know she's one of us!" Someone called out, and others yelled in agreement. I looked at Leia and she seemed to be slightly frustrated.

No one understood what she was thinking. "I'm nonexistent outside of D'Qar, so as long as I'm quiet about being affiliated with the Resistance I should be fine," I spoke up. Making the room grow quiet. The tension was making me uncomfortable, and I couldn't stay any longer, but Leia saw this and tried her best to finish the meeting as quickly as possible. "As Zara said, she is unheard of in the outside world giving us an advantage. If the situation is deemed too dangerous at any given time, we will figure out a way to bring her home safely." Leia continued on. Finally, the crowd seemed pleased with what she had to say. 

"She will be traveling next week. Meeting adjourned." Everyone quickly got back to work as if there wasn't enough time in a single day to finish their tasks. General Leia and I went our different ways, and I felt the need to check on all of the engineers. Watching to see if everything was running smoothly. It wasn't particularly my favorite thing to do, but it was my job to oversee everyone and help if someone we're to have a problem.

Before I managed to make it to the doors Poe stood in my way. Placing his hands on my shoulders and lightly shaking them. "Zara, you can't do this. It'll get you killed." His voice shook as he spoke. I've seen him worried multiple times, but this was completely different. The look in his eyes explained everything. He wasn't worried. He was afraid. "I'm sorry Poe, but I'm doing this for the Resistance." 

His hands fell from my shoulders, and for the first time since I've known him, he looked completely and utterly defeated. It was obvious he wanted to say something, but the words wouldn't come out, so I spoke for him. "Compared to everyone else my chances of being found out are the lowest. That's why this is something I must do. I'm sorry," I whispered the last part before walking away. 

The rest of the day was torture. Sitting around waiting for some engineer to ask me for help was boring. Thankfully they all went to Poe and left me alone. Being left alone to dwell in my thoughts was never a good idea because whenever it was really quiet, I would hear a voice. Calling out to me as if it needed help. It was impossible to figure out who the voice belonged too, as it was unfamiliar and barely audible. Ever since the first time I heard it, I swore to myself that one day I'd figure out who it was, and deep down I knew that it would happen.

My ears perked up as I heard someone walking not far from where I sat. Stumbling along the way, but whoever it was knew where they were going, as they walked quite fast compared to everyone else. "Zara, you need to come back home." It was Tahl with the usual stern look on his face. "Is something the matter? You sound awfully distressed," I asked hesitantly. 

"Earlier today I sensed a disturbance in the force... I've never felt anything like it." He looked as if he'd seen a ghost. His digits grabbing onto the collar of my shirt in an attempt to pull me up from where I sat. "It must be important then if you had to come all this way to get me," I spoke as the two of us walked along the usual route we took every day. 

"This is something we must discuss in private, and you must not tell anyone. Understood?" He looked me in the eyes awaiting an answer. "Yes, Master." The rest of the time we spent walking together was in silence as the sun dipped below the horizon, the fleeting colors of dusk beginning to fade away. 

Looking into the sky as the sun fell was awfully familiar as if I'd seen it in a past life, but I was stuck wondering. Staring into the blanket of stars above until Tahl pushed me inside of the place in which we called home. Tahl glanced at me before turning his back and entering the kitchen. The sound cabinets slamming shut every now and then, indicating that he was cooking something to eat. 

Our house wasn't the fanciest, but it was definitely hidden within the forest where no one would find us without doing a thorough search. Everything was either wood or rock when it came to the structure of it all, and lighting came from either the sun or lamps we had hung around. Over time Tahl would bring home decoration from his adventures, and at some point even brought things such as pillows and blankets so that we could sleep comfortably. 

The option to sleep on base with the rest of the Resistance was always an option, but ever since Tahl and I arrived, which happened to be before the Resistance was even formed, we decided that we'd live here and nowhere else. It would forever be our safe place, and I swore that if I were to ever have a family, this is where my children would grow up. 

I hadn't noticed Tahl enter the living room until he gestured for me to sit down beside him. Handing me a delicately carved bowl filled to the brim with grassroot stew. It wasn't the best, but it was better than nothing. "Zara, I have a feeling only bad things will come to us in the near future," Tahl spoke in a dire tone. Turning to look at me so he knew I was listening. "Is there anything we can do about it? There must be something," I asked. Unsure of what his response would be. 

"The future is inevitable, and there is nothing we can do about it." Tahl never told a lie, so I knew what he said was far from that. The thought of bad things to come made me anxious, and it seemed as if the things he had to say were directed towards me. It could be related to what Leia had planned, and I wasn't ready to find out. "I'm the reason, right? That you felt a disturbance in the force." 

He seemed a bit taken aback about my remark, as if he hadn't expected me to figure it all out. Without saying another word he stood up from his chair and walked to his room. Even if he didn't give me an answer, it explained why he seemed tense. Knowing that eventually my life may be at risk was enough to freak him out, and honestly, it freaked me out too. 

Shaking my head, I finally regained my focus before grabbing the bowl Tahl left along with mine and taking it to the kitchen. It didn't take long, but I cleaned up the mess he left behind and blew out the lights around the house before going to my room. It was dimly lit, and the bed was perfectly made before I grabbed the sheets and sat beneath them. Staring at the ceiling and letting my mind wander, but it wasnt long before I drifted off to sleep. 

The voice I knew far too well ringing throughout my ears. It was typically quiet and almost inaudible, but tonight was different. Finally, I could hear every word clearly, and I wasn't prepared for what the voice had to say.

_"I'll be awaiting your arrival, Zara. The Supreme Leader is eager to begin your training."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, and thank you for deciding to read my book! Chapter updates won't happen regularly since they take some time, but I try my best to publish them as soon I can. Since this book is incomplete, feedback would definitely be appreciated. Thanks again!


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